Keeping Up Appearances1990

[first lines]

Hyacinth:
[on the telephone] I require your furniture department, please. The quality section, not the plywood end.

Hyacinth:
Good morning! Am I speaking to the manager? I shan't settle for anything less. Good. Now, my name is Bouquet, that's B-U-C-K-E-T.

Hyacinth:
No, it *is* Bouquet. You may remember that I called in earlier in the week to choose a three piece suite.

Hyacinth:
You do remember vividly. How very nice. Yes. That's right, I called in the week before too.

Hyacinth:
Yes, and the week before that.

Hyacinth:
Well, these things are too important to rush. Now, you remember that I finally opted for a very superior suite, which you assured me was an exact replica of one at Sandringham House.And you promised delivery today. I'm ringing to ascertain the precise time that you intend to deliver, and will it be in one of your vans with the royal warrant on?

Hyacinth:
All your vans have the royal warrant; that's good. On both sides? Because if it's only on the one side I shall want you to park facing town.

Hyacinth:
You have the royal warrant on both sides; that's very good.