L.A. Law1986

Mark Gilliam:
Mr. Appleton, how long did you know Glen Gates?

Christopher Appleton:
We met at a party four years ago on the fourth of July 1982.

Mark Gilliam:
And what was the nature of your relationship?

Christopher Appleton:
We were lovers.

Mark Gilliam:
Would you care to catagorize your relationship a casual one?

Christopher Appleton:
No. We loved each other very much. We were very committed to one another.

Mark Gilliam:
You two lived together?

Christopher Appleton:
Yes, almost from the start when we first met.

Mark Gilliam:
When did you first find out that Glen had AIDS?

Christopher Appleton:
He was diagnosed last year in August 1985.

Mark Gilliam:
Would describe to the court if you will the course of Mr. Gates disease?

Christopher Appleton:
Well... he started becoming sick last July. In the beginning we thought it was just a bad cold. Weeks went by and Glen just kept getting sicker. He got so weak that he could hardly stand up. Well... if you were me, you live in a gay community that lives in terror. Like AIDS is a plague. You become used to seeing all your friends die. Somehow you think it won't happen to you. When Glen got sick, I think we both knew.

Mark Gilliam:
Once he was diagnosed with having AIDS, what happened then?

Christopher Appleton:
Basically he just deteriorated. He was in and out of the hospital. Toward the end he was going blind. He had periods when he wasn't lucid. He... he was in horrible pain.

Mark Gilliam:
Mr. Appleton, would you describe to the court if you would what your life was like as Glen got sicker?

Christopher Appleton:
We couldn't go out in public anymore, because people everywhere were physically repulsed at the sight of him. He lost so much weight. His face, his arms... his whole body were covered with dark sores. We became like... lepers, even in our own gay neighborhood where we lived.

Mark Gilliam:
When did you decide to take his life?

Christopher Appleton:
Oh, we had talked about it almost from the start. We had so many friends who died from AIDS in our community. We heard so many horror stories. Glen was not afraid of death. He couldn't stand the thought of the inevitable suffering. The loss of his dignity. He talked a lot about suicide. He hoarded pills for months. Towards the end he tried to kill himself while he was in the hospital. But... he was so weak that he couldn't get all the pills down his throat. That's when he begged me to do it. To take his life for him.

Mark Gilliam:
And you agreed?

Christopher Appleton:
No. Not at first. But towards the end he couldn't bear it. He was in horrible pain.

Mark Gilliam:
Mr. Appleton, would you describe for the court if you would Glen Gates last few hours of life?

Christopher Appleton:
It was early morning in March... exactly eight months ago. I'd fallen asleep in the chair beside his bed. Suddenly I woke up and I felt that Glen was really there. Not just physically, but his mind was there. And it woke me and I looked at him. His head was turned and he was looking at me with such sweet sadness in his eyes. It was as if all the fight was out of him. By this time, he was too weak to talk. He kept falling asleep and it was as if he was forcing himself to wake up. I felt like he was begging me to end it. I picked him off the bed and carried him to the bathroom. God... he was so light. It was like holding... a dying small bird. I bathed him, changed his bed clothes, tucked him back into bed and then I got into the bed with him. I held him in my arms and rocked him. I sang to him. And then when he finally fell asleep, he was like a baby in my arms. I knew for a certainty that it was time for death to happen. To let him wake up to one more day of pain and sadness and dispair. It wouldn't be a greater crime then I am up here accused of committing?