Last of the Summer Wine1973

[first lines]

Auntie:
Hem, ahem.

Billy Hardcastle:
My, it's a right bow, is that. I'll bet tha could really overcharge for a bow like that.

Auntie:
Make me an offer.

Billy Hardcastle:
Ah, if I do I'm dead. The wife wants a new table lamp.

Auntie:
Well, that's amazing! Funnily enough, this bow comes complete with a *free* table lamp.

Billy Hardcastle:
That is amazing. Think I'm being sucked in here.

Auntie:
Belonged to a champion archer, won all the competitions.

Billy Hardcastle:
Accurate, is it?

Auntie:
Accurate! Huh. He used to post his letters with it from his bedroom window. And they lived three hundred yards from the nearest postbox.

Billy Hardcastle:
Wrapped 'em round his arrows, did he?

Auntie:
Ah, well, *they* were stamped with his own address; the postman delivered them back.

Billy Hardcastle:
Crafty! So how come he sold this amazing bow?

Auntie:
Arthritis. In his elbow. Affected his aim. Shot a traffic warden and had to flee from all the messages of congratulation.

Billy Hardcastle:
Is it a good free table lamp? The wife wants summat different.

Auntie:
Well, the difference is you'll have your bow.

Billy Hardcastle:
Tha can't argue with sound logic.