Last of the Summer Wine1973

[first lines]

Billy:
Hey, do you think Alexander the Great used to have a pack lunch?

Clegg:
Oh, you can't go conquering without a pack lunch. They couldn't drop in to a Jumbo Burger.

Truly:
History never gets down to these revealing details, like, uh... did the man have a painful corn, so he had to wear sandals?

Alvin:
He'd have a corn specialist amongst his retinue, and an ear, nose and throat guy.

Billy:
He died young, though, didn't he?

Truly:
Well, maybe his corn went septic.

Clegg:
Well, I expect if they were riding all day they probably got their corns somewhere else.

Billy:
Stands to reason he'd have a pack lunch. I'll bet his mother said, "You can't go conquering the known world on an empty stomach."

Truly:
Aye. "Keep off those oily foreign foods," she said. "Eat your greens."

Alvin:
"And don't let me catch you up those mountains without a woolly vest."

Clegg:
Do you think that's why he left home?

Billy:
Probably.