Last of the Summer Wine1973

[first lines]

Billy:
I used to come out here with an old Volvo headlamp, put it to me ear and listen to the universe.

Clegg:
In Swedish?

Billy:
Feel at one with nature.

Clegg:
You feel at one with the ground being hard.

Truly:
There's a hallowed police technique for calming unruly prisoners that used to make you feel quite close to nature.

Clegg:
You never mentioned it at flower arranging.

Billy:
And what did the universe used to say, tha must be wondering.

Truly:
It used to say, "Who's that idiot with the Volvo headlamp?"

Clegg:
"Oh, it's only Billy Hardcastle," it used to say, "earwigging again."

Billy:
It used to say nowt, actually. Makes you wonder whether there's owt there.

Clegg:
The question man has been asking since his time began: is there anything beyond the reach of a Volvo headlamp.