Little House on the Prairie1974

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
No ma'am, I came back to thank you.

Harriet Oleson:
To thank me? For what?

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
Well, my Pa's been real busy lately, and he hasn't actually read the book himself. I'm hoping he never finds out what's in it. Bye.

Harriet Oleson:
Wait a minute! What do you mean? What's in it?

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
Oh, stuff about my Ma. I can't believe that my own grandfather would write such things down for the whole world to see!

Harriet Oleson:
Really? Like what?

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
I'm too ashamed to repeat them, ma'am.

Harriet Oleson:
Oh Albert, you can tell me. After all, your mother and I are old friends! There isn't anything that you could tell me that would change my opinion about her.

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
Well, there was this one part where my Ma was in a public place, and she...

Harriet Oleson:
What? What did she do?

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
She didn't DO anything.

Harriet Oleson:
Well...

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
She wasn't wearing anything either.

Harriet Oleson:
You mean she was...

Albert Quinn Ingalls:
Naked.