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Albert Quinn Ingalls: No ma'am, I came back to thank you.Harriet Oleson: To thank me? For what?Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, my Pa's been real busy lately, and he hasn't actually read the book himself. I'm hoping he never finds out what's in it. Bye.Harriet Oleson: Wait a minute! What do you mean? What's in it?Albert Quinn Ingalls: Oh, stuff about my Ma. I can't believe that my own grandfather would write such things down for the whole world to see!Harriet Oleson: Really? Like what?Albert Quinn Ingalls: I'm too ashamed to repeat them, ma'am.Harriet Oleson: Oh Albert, you can tell me. After all, your mother and I are old friends! There isn't anything that you could tell me that would change my opinion about her.Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, there was this one part where my Ma was in a public place, and she...Harriet Oleson: What? What did she do?Albert Quinn Ingalls: She didn't DO anything.Harriet Oleson: Well...Albert Quinn Ingalls: She wasn't wearing anything either.Harriet Oleson: You mean she was...Albert Quinn Ingalls: Naked.

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