M*A*S*H1972

Hawkeye:
You've written her three days in a row. What are you trying to do, get bulk mail rates?

Charles:
I am trying, you unamusing little man, to prevent a wedding which begins

[in Italian accent]

Charles:
"Eh, do youse take this woman?"

Hawkeye:
Before you start writing poison pen blessings, Charles, why don't you lie down and dry out?

Charles:
Because inebriation will enable me to form the words that will sway my sister.

Hawkeye:
Perfect. Right now you're an expert at swaying.

Charles:
[reads letter] "I await with baited garlic breath the announcement of your first born: To Honoria and Vito 'The Big Knife' Machete, a 12 pound, 10 ounce organ grinder."

Hawkeye:
When you mail that, you better wear a disguise. Why don't you dress up as a human being? No-one will recognize you.

B.J.:
All right, that does it.

[shouts]

B.J.:
That does it! I've had it with

[to Hawkeye]

B.J.:
your sanctimony and

[to Charles]

B.J.:
your bigotry! What I need is some tranquility. Like in a machine gun nest.