M*A*S*H1972

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
[lecturing Klinger] None of us wants to be here. I don't wanna be here. Radar doesn't want to be here. The doctors, the nurses. Certainly the wounded don't want to be here. But we've got to do our best. Understand, son?

Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger:
I'm trying.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
Then get your butt in high gear and get back to work!

Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger:
That your last offer?

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
You got it! Out!

Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger:
Yes, sir. [Klinger exits, as Major Burns enters]

Maj. Frank Burns:
Colonel, can I see you?

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
Do I have a choice?

Maj. Frank Burns:
It's about Captain Pierce.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
He sew up your fly again?

Maj. Frank Burns:
No, sir.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
He spit at you?

Maj. Frank Burns:
He's stuffing a bunch of personnel into a jeep! Something about setting a world's record.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
[Chuckles] He's a pistol. Burns, can't you see Pierce is just trying to boost morale?

Maj. Frank Burns:
Well, my morale is fine. I love it here.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter:
[Stares at Burns] Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I've got to figure out which one.