M*A*S*H1972

Maj. Frank Burns:
Well, yes, Colonel, I've, um, put in for the Purple Heart.

Henry Blake:
But according to your accident report, you tripped in the mud on the way to the shower.

Maj. Frank Burns:
Yes.

Henry Blake:
Is that the way you want it announced at the award ceremony? Tripped in the mud on the way to the shower?

Maj. Frank Burns:
Well, well, I, I...

Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan:
Sir, this injury was sustained at a front-line unit. Technically that makes it battle-connected.

Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce:
[entering] On that basis, we'll be handing out medals for social diseases.

Maj. Frank Burns:
What are you doing here, Pierce?

Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce:
Well, I have a stethoscope fetish. This is the only place I can wear one without attracting attention. Henry, you're not going to endorse this idiot's application, are you?

Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan:
That's Major to you, Captain!

Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce:
Henry, you're not going to endorse this major idiot's application, are you?

Henry Blake:
Pierce, that's a decision I'll decide when I decide and make my, uh, uh, decision, and that will, uh, decide.