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Maj. Frank Burns: Well, yes, Colonel, I've, um, put in for the Purple Heart.Henry Blake: But according to your accident report, you tripped in the mud on the way to the shower.Maj. Frank Burns: Yes.Henry Blake: Is that the way you want it announced at the award ceremony? Tripped in the mud on the way to the shower?Maj. Frank Burns: Well, well, I, I...Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Sir, this injury was sustained at a front-line unit. Technically that makes it battle-connected.Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [entering] On that basis, we'll be handing out medals for social diseases.Maj. Frank Burns: What are you doing here, Pierce?Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Well, I have a stethoscope fetish. This is the only place I can wear one without attracting attention. Henry, you're not going to endorse this idiot's application, are you?Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: That's Major to you, Captain!Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Henry, you're not going to endorse this major idiot's application, are you?Henry Blake: Pierce, that's a decision I'll decide when I decide and make my, uh, uh, decision, and that will, uh, decide.

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    Are you a quotes master?

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    "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
    A Vincent van Gogh
    B Kurt Cobain
    C Michael Jackson
    D Franklin Pierce