M*A*S*H1972

Dr. Randolph Kent:
So there I was in Elewijt standing in the very house where Rubens painted his most wonderful masterpiece The Rape of the Daughters of Leucippus.

Major Charles Winchester:
Surely you jest.

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Hardly one of Rubens's best works.

Major Charles Winchester:
Oh, granted, it appeals to bourgeois taste, but - Besides - Bourgeois? The master painted that when he lived in Antwerp.

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Well, it was merely an error in geography.

Major Charles Winchester:
My brain is not a map.

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Barely a brain.

Major Charles Winchester:
[laughs] Oh, yeah? Well, says you, you, you boorish Sussex fop!

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Ignorant Back Bay philistine!

Major Charles Winchester:
Snob!

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Clod!

Major Charles Winchester:
Dandy!

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Cretin!

Major Charles Winchester:
[Inhales] - I don't care who your parents are! - [Bottle Clanks] You can take your father's villa and stuff it! [Dr. Kent begins laughing like hell] What's so funny?

Dr. Randolph Kent:
It isn't my father's villa. It's my father's employer's villa.

Major Charles Winchester:
What?...

Dr. Randolph Kent:
Father is the butler. When I was old enough, I became the chauffeur. It helped put me through medical school.

Major Charles Winchester:
But you told me that... - - - And why not? It was such fun to submit you to derision and watch you crawl back for more. - I did not. - You most certainly did. You assumed that only people of wealth and breeding have any taste or class. Well, mate, you have been outclassed by the son of a bloody butler. [laughs] Aw, shut up!

Dr. Randolph Kent:
I told you the truth. I summered in San Remo and wintered in Sussex. You assumed the rest.

Major Charles Winchester:
Well, you encouraged the assumption.

Dr. Randolph Kent:
You assumed that only people of wealth and breeding have any taste or class. Well, mate, you have been outclassed by the son of a bloody butler! [Captain Hawkeye Pierce has been standing on his elbows upside down listening to the two drunken boars & begins laughing hysterically and loses his balance, falling against his shelves behind him] .

Major Charles Winchester:
[drunkenly looks over at Captain Pierce embarassed & disgusted] Aw, shut up! [Hawkeye continues laughing] .