Maron2013

Bernie:
There were these two monks. They came to a river. They were Buddhists.

Marc Maron:
What are you talking about?

Bernie:
It's a story. I'm telling you a story.

Marc Maron:
OK, OK. Go, go.

Bernie:
So these two monks saw this woman. I don't know if she was Buddhist, but that's not what's important.

Marc Maron:
OK.

Bernie:
So the woman wants to be carried across the river. So the old monk says, "I'll do it." So he carries the broad straight across the river. Done. But. She never said thanks.

Marc Maron:
Right.

Bernie:
That's a nice shirt, man.

Marc Maron:
Thanks, man.

Bernie:
I've got a jacket with BIG monster tits on it.

Marc Maron:
I've seen that jacket. They're not that big.

Bernie:
So, so for the rest of the day, the young monk is mad. Mad at the b*tch for not saying 'thank you.' And finally the old monk slaps the sh*t out of that guy and stuns him like a stuck nut and he says, he says, "I carried her, I just carried her across the river, man. You've been carrying her the whole day."

Marc Maron:
I know what you're saying! You're saying I've got to apologize to the guy for my sake.

Bernie:
No. You've got to apologize to the guy for your sake. Be the old monk. Don't be the young monk. The young monk was a bitter monk. Maybe he shouldn't have never been a monk at all. Maybe he had no choice.