Married with Children1987

Al Bundy:
Here, let's have a vote. Who wants me to get my money?

[everyone in the room is silent]

Al Bundy:
All right, let's try this... who does not want me to get my money?

[Peggy, Kelly, Bud, and even Charlene Tilton raises their hands]

Al Bundy:
That hurts, Charlene. All right... I now know what I have to do.

[Al takes off his shirt revealing his muscular, untoned build]

Peggy Bundy:
Oh Al, you're so cute. You're going to try to earn it by having sex with me.

Al Bundy:
No, Peg. I'm going to take my pants off next, get a lawn chair, and sit in my underwear... over at your college, Bud! Telling everyone there that I'm your father!

[both Peggy and Kelly laugh at Bud who looks down with dread]

Al Bundy:
And then... Kelly, I'm gonna go over to the diner where you work, sit at a counter, pull up my Haines underwear... telling everyone there that I'm your father!

[now Kelly looks down with dread with Bud as Peggy continues to laugh at both of them]

Al Bundy:
And then... Peggy, I'm going to go prancing around your beauty parlor where you hang out twice a week... telling everybody there that I'm your husband! Oh, did I mention that by then I woun't be wearing any underwear? [now Peggy looks alarmed with dread] And then... just for the heck of it, I'm gonna walk around with a big sandwich sign that says: "I've been using and Abdomatizer for two years... and this is what I look like!"

[Charlene Tilton turns away with dread along with the rest of Peggy, Kelly and Bud]

Al Bundy:
Now... let's vote again. Who want's daddy to get his money?

[intimidated, Peggy, Kelly, Bud, and Charlene Tilton all raise their hands]

Al Bundy:
Thank you! I knew you'd all be behind me!