Married with Children1987

Al Bundy:
So anyway, this fat woman comes into the shoe store and she is so big that she actually has three smaller women orbiting around her. So, I'm trying to force a pair of Size 13 shoes on her Jurassic feet, when she starts talking to me describing how her husband recently left her.

Bud Bundy:
[sarcastic] Ah, the plot thins.

Al Bundy:
Pardon me, Son. But let's see how was your day at work today! So anyway, this fat woman is explaining to me how her husband left her when she reaches into her purse, moves aside a large pastrami sub, and produces two $500 courtside tickets to tonight's All-Star charity basketball game.

Bud Bundy:
You mean the ones where they send overprivledged white kids to basketball camp? Hands Across the Suburbs? She gave you these tickets?

Al Bundy:
Sold them to me for a dollar a piece, which I didn't have... thank you Peg for picking my pocket again this morning. But I was able to take them from the mall fountain after following her out and seeing her throw them in, as well as the charity mint box. So Jerry Lewis can't afford Rip Taylor this Labor Day.