Married with Children1987

Peggy:
What happened today, Al? Why are you late coming home?

Al:
Well, this beautiful, very beautiful, girl came into the shoe store today and asked me to fly away to the Greek Islands with her.

Kelly Bundy:
Well, did you go, Daddy?

Al:
[sarcastic] Yes, Pumpkin. I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye.

Kelly Bundy:
That's okay.

Al:
Anyway, all this girl wanted was a love toy.

Bud Bundy:
Yeah, I know the feeling.

Kelly Bundy:
Oh, please! The only feeling you know is Buck's fur against your cheek on a warm summer night.

Al:
It was every man's fantasy. To be kept by a woman who's skirt is as short as the lifespan of the man she chooses. But I said "no."

Bud Bundy:
Why?

[Peggy angrly slaps Bud upside his head]

Al:
Well, because I just realized that everything I've been doing up to now, the bathing, the brushing, changing of the socks, being nice to people, trying to succeed... it's all for nothing. All those things are designed to attract. Why should I be attractive? I'm married... with children.