Mock the Week2005

Russell Howard:
The way I like getting the news is Radio 5 Live, it's fantastic, 'cos it's just news and nutters isn't it. They'll read out like "that was the Pope's view on abortion" and then "Hello! Felicity Puddleduck here, livid and ill-informed! I'd just like to say that those harlots should give birth to their children aged 2; that child should do national service, I'm off to bake a cake!" You're sat there listening and then the next nutter comes on: "Dave here! Are you out of your mind? Cloning?! Think it through! Two versions of me, one'll go out and commit a crime! Who gets blamed for it? Me! I'm doing a twenty stretch, he's banging my wife! Where's the justice?!" You're sat there listening to these nutters and then the most ridiculous story comes on: "A man in Bristol has found the face of Jesus on a crisp" and suddenly, "I couldn't believe, I opened up my frazzles, there he was!"