Modern Family2009

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
It's Valentine's Day. I thought we were going salsa dancing, not to watch a comedian.

Jay Pritchett:
You're gonna love him. Trust me. The guy's hilarious.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
Okay, tell me one of his jokes.

Jay Pritchett:
He doesn't do jokes.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
Does he have a mallet?

Jay Pritchett:
No.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
So then how does he get hit in the head?

Jay Pritchett:
He doesn't hit in the head. He... he makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way. Come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
Who the hell is Johnny Carson?

Jay Pritchett:
Oh, for God's sake.

[cut to interview]

Jay Pritchett:
Gloria and I are from different generations. And I won't lie: it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
No, I didn't.

Jay Pritchett:
It was a joke.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
I don't get it.

Jay Pritchett:
Maybe that's because there's no mallet.

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett:
Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.