Modern Family2009

Mitchell Pritchett:
You know, Mom's in town.

Jay Pritchett:
Your mom?

Mitchell Pritchett:
No. No, your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes. Yes, my mom, Dad.

Jay Pritchett:
My mom would be less scary.

Mitchell Pritchett:
Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the wedding, and she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize to everyone.

Jay Pritchett:
Still her little errand boy, I see.

Mitchell Pritchett:
No... why does everyone keep saying... No! I... I'm just trying to piece this family back together. So, you'll talk to Gloria about Mom coming to dinner?

Jay Pritchett:
Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years. She's still furious with your mother, which is why I'm not talking to you.

Mitchell Pritchett:
What did I do?

Jay Pritchett:
This conversation never took place.

Mitchell Pritchett:
What? That's not very nice. I drove all the way here.

Jay Pritchett:
No, you didn't. You were never here. In fact, you never even called.

Mitchell Pritchett:
I would have called, but I thought it would be better to talk about... what's happening here?

Jay Pritchett:
Listen, I would love to get this thing behind us, but Gloria would never forgive me if I pulled a fast one on her. That's why *you're* going to pull a fast one on her, and I'm not going to like it one bit.