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Mitchell Pritchett: You know, Mom's in town.Jay Pritchett: Your mom?Mitchell Pritchett: No. No, your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes. Yes, my mom, Dad.Jay Pritchett: My mom would be less scary.Mitchell Pritchett: Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the wedding, and she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize to everyone.Jay Pritchett: Still her little errand boy, I see.Mitchell Pritchett: No... why does everyone keep saying... No! I... I'm just trying to piece this family back together. So, you'll talk to Gloria about Mom coming to dinner?Jay Pritchett: Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years. She's still furious with your mother, which is why I'm not talking to you.Mitchell Pritchett: What did I do?Jay Pritchett: This conversation never took place.Mitchell Pritchett: What? That's not very nice. I drove all the way here.Jay Pritchett: No, you didn't. You were never here. In fact, you never even called.Mitchell Pritchett: I would have called, but I thought it would be better to talk about... what's happening here?Jay Pritchett: Listen, I would love to get this thing behind us, but Gloria would never forgive me if I pulled a fast one on her. That's why *you're* going to pull a fast one on her, and I'm not going to like it one bit.

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    "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
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    D Franklin Pierce