Monarch of the Glen2000

Lexie:
[he shakes pepper on his pork] It *is* seasoned, Hector.

Molly MacDonald:
Archie, perhaps you'd tell your father that it is an insult to the cook to fling condiments on a carefully-prepared dish like that?

Hector:
Archie, would you tell your mother to mind her own business, and keep her elegant nose out of my dinner?

[sneezes]

Fleming:
I had a brainwave. You know that notion of selling the village, Archie?

Archie MacDonald:
Oh, yeah.

Fleming:
I thought of someone who might give you a good price.

Hector:
What do you mean, "sell the village"?

Fleming:
Another client of the bank. A rather good client, actually.

Hector:
who?

Fleming:
Your friend and neighbor Killwillie.

Hector:
Killwillie?

Fleming:
He said that that land once belonged to *his* family, Mr. MacDonald, until yours stole it with considerable bodily harm in 1588. He wants it back and is happy to pay bigtime for it.

Hector:
Over my dead body!

Lexie:
[setting down wine] That can easily be arranged.

Hector:
Now look h...

[sneezes again]

Molly MacDonald:
Mr. Fleming, that sounds an excellent idea.

[Hector flings down his napkin and gets up to storm off]

Molly MacDonald:
Where are you going?

Hector:
The stench of betrayal, has ruined my appetite.

[sneezes]