Monty Python's Flying Circus1969

Hungarian:
[reading from a English-Hungarian dictionary] I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.

Tobacconist:
Sorry?

Hungarian:
I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.

Tobacconist:
Uh, no, no, this... uh... tobacconist.

Hungarian:
Ah! I vill not buy this *tobacconist*, it is sratched.

Tobacconist:
Uh, no, no, tobacco... um... cigarettes.

Hungarian:
Ja! "Ci-ga-ret-ta"! Uh... My hovercraft if full of eels. [pause] My hovercraft [motions "cigarettes"] is full of eels. [motions "matches"]

Tobacconist:
Oh! Matches! Matches.

Hungarian:
Ja! Ja, ja. Uh... do you *WA*nt... do you *WA*nt to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy!

Tobacconist:
I don't think you're using that right.

Hungarian:
You great poohft.

Tobacconist:
Uh, that will be 66 please.

Hungarian:
If I said you had beautiful body, vould you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected.

Tobacconist:
M-may I?

Hungarian:
Ja! Ja! [gives book to Tobacconist]

Tobacconist:
Costs 6 and 6... costs 6 and... ah, here we are!

[Tobacconist says something in Hungarian, causing the Hungarian to punch him in the face. A police officer comes rushing into the store]

Police Officer:
What's going on here then?

Hungarian:
[to police officer] You have beautiful thighs.

Police Officer:
What?

Tobacconist:
He hit me!

Hungarian:
Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunch time.

Police Officer:
[angry] RIGHT!

[Hungarian dragged away by police officer]

Hungarian:
My nipples explode with delight!