My Name Is Earl2005

[after comatose Earl's brother and friends save him from amazon trucker Sissy's bed]

Indian Doctor:
He's suffered serious head trauma and massive internal injuries.

Randy Hickey:
Well, at least they're internal.

Indian Doctor:
He also has severely bruised nipples. [Joy looks aside] We might not be able to save one of them. In addition, he has some palet shaped burns on the sides of his head. And let's see what else. His left buttock is filled with buckshot, his teeth are covered in bugs, and last but not least, we're not sure, but we think he might have had an involuntary orgasm.

Joy Turner:
Oh, my God, that crazy b*tch tried to constipate the marriage.