Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Dr. Forrester:
The holiday season is here, the boss is on vacation, and we've gone crazy! Now I know from experience that nothing chafes a kid's hinder more than his request for a neat toy maligned into a neat and practical gift. Enter the Wish-Squisher.

TV's Frank:
Yeah, what you do is you take a really cool toy that any kid would dig like these uh, video cassette cartridge games. You take it, stick it through the Wish-Squisher... Voila!

Dr. Forrester:
and it comes out as annoying and practical as any gift from Aunt Vida. Check it out: underoos that won't fit for two years.

TV's Frank:
And what kid wouldn't love as a gift: more money than he or she will ever deserve. But then, suddenly, it starts to get weird. The rules change; you start to feel kind of bad. Voila.

Dr. Forrester:
Yes, what was once the bright promise for the future becomes... your 4-year-old sister's raisin collection.

TV's Frank:
And nothing - and I mean nothing - is more fun than racing slot-cars, just like this one, around the Christmas tree. But nooooo!

Dr. Forrester:
What was once your first-draft, grade-A choice from your parents as a gift becomes... socks.

TV's Frank:
Socks, that's right. Yes, what was once crummy, Speedwall, black and green, rayon-encrusted, uncomfortable socks becomes...!

Dr. Forrester:
Run it through again, Frank.

TV's Frank:
Okay, running it through... the Wish-Squisher... Well, it becomes!

Dr. Forrester:
Ah, a gift certificate for a stationery store.