Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Pearl Forrester:
Quiet, you fool. I found the ancient family diary of the Forrester clan. It's fascinating. Ancient numbers for ancient bookies. Topaz Wallingford Thiesenstein Forrester really knew how to play the ponies. And here, 1,000 year old malt liquor labels. And an antediluvian form of chicken-in-a-biscuit called Her Majesty's Fool's Hen Cracklebread. What a rich and marvelous past. What's this? Apparently, my ancestors have always been involved in odd experiments. Amethyst Rogento Forrester trapped a man in a cave and pushed in bad paintings of the hunt. Emerald Montgomery Forrester trapped a man on an island and forced him to read poorly done parchments and... and, could this be... Adventerine Sowbodaford Forrester trapped a man in a tree and told him really bad sagas... it's incredible. I have a feeling I'm on to something here, Nelson... some power, some force beyond my control. And it doesn't look good for you. Ha ha ha ha.

Observer:
I think you're getting off the point just a tad, you might want...

Pearl Forrester:
Cower, world. Tremble, world. Run and mule and puke in terror, world. Ready. Haaarch.