Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Crow:
People and Robots Who've Had to Watch Hobgoblins Crisis Hotline! Hello?

Bobo:
Oh, oh. Yes. Hello. I'm in a deep crisis which is very, very deep. And I need to know that you won't hang up on me like all those other crisis hotlines.

Crow:
Ah, have no fear. I can handle anything! Um, it is related to watching the movie Hobgoblins, right?

Bobo:
Oh, oh, oh! Yes, of course it relates to watching the movie Hobgoblins. That's why I called. Anyway, one day I was watching the movie Hobgoblins one day, when I realized, while watching the movie Hobgoblins, that I was in love with a woman very close to me... A woman not of my species.

Crow:
Uck, uck, uck! That is disgusting! Ew, I need a shower now. Yuck!

Bobo:
Ah! Wait, don't hang up! I need her! Though she can be very mean to me, I'm obsessed with her. I want her in every way. Emotionally, spiritually, physically...

Crow:
Yuck! Stop telling me this, you freak! I'm gonna be sick all over the place!

Tom Servo:
Hang up.

Crow:
Um, I have another call... See ya.

Tom Servo:
Hang up!

Bobo:
No! I'll die without her! She's a chimpanzee and her name is Emily. And I don't care if anyone... Hello? Oh, rats. Another hang-up. Well, let's see who's next on the list. Butterball... Turkey... Hotline.