Mystery Science Theater 30001988

[Tom Servo sings an ode in response to Canada bashing]

Tom Servo:
[sings] Oh I wish I was back in old Canada, a land which I never shall lampoon, how I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba, and the beauty that is Saskatoon...

Mike Nelson:
[interrupts] Here, I got one.

[sings]

Mike Nelson:
Oh I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta, drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur. As he scraped and he chiseled all the moose dung off his boots, I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!

Crow T. Robot:
[sings] Oh I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings, Alannis Morrisette, Mike Myers too. No I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me. O Canada, you are a place I must eschew!

Tom Servo:
[annoyed] Now this is not in the spirit that I intended!

Mike Nelson:
Oh, come on, give in, I mean, after all they gave us Ed the Sock - and Rush!

Crow T. Robot:
Yeah! What are you defending? They're such feebs!

Tom Servo:
OK, I'll try.

[sings in a hostile tone]

Tom Servo:
Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island, and going on to bomb Ontario! Ha, ha! The destruction of Canada and all of its culture, is by far my fa-vo-rite scenario!

Mike Nelson:
OK, now, that's a little strong...

Tom Servo:
[manic] No, you were right Mike! This is much more fun!

[sings with angry gusto]

Tom Servo:
Just *where* the hell does Canada get off sharing a border, with countries far superior to it? Why, you lousy stinkin', Francophonic, bacon-lovin' bastards, your country's just a giant piece of sh -...

Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot:
Whoa!

Mike Nelson:
Okay, I think that's enough!

Tom Servo:
[sobbing] I'm sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform!

Mike Nelson:
That's OK, now calm down now. Mustn't hate, mustn't hate...

Crow T. Robot:
At least not so overtly.

Mike Nelson:
Exactly, must disguise our hate, just a little. It's okay now, Dudley.

Tom Servo:
[sobbing] Pardonnez-moi, pardonnez-moi...