Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Dr. Forrester:
Now, taste the red hot steel of Dr. Clayton "Fire-brand" Forrester! The punching bag has always had a sound principle behind it. Frank?

TV's Frank:
Yes, that it's fun to beat Boffo the clown savagely and repeatedly till Boffo's bleeding froim the ears, but then... alas the thrill is gone. The fire goes out of your belly. You need something new to stimulate your imagination.

Dr. Forrester:
That's right, that's why we've invented these hateful punching bags with images of characters from the renaissance festival. For instance, there's uh, the rat catcher. Excuse me, sirs, is that your head or did your neck throw up?

TV's Frank:
Oh, bite me Frodo!

Dr. Forrester:
And there's the ever popular leather mug maker. Please, sir, sample my wares!

TV's Frank:
Sample my fist, you community theatre reject!

Dr. Forrester:
Loveable harlequinn! I am harlequinn.

TV's Frank:
I am your worst nightmare! Twenty three dollars to get in! Huzzah my butt, you satin-suited, Tolkein-reading loser!

Dr. Forrester:
Uh, that's enough, Frank... Uh, well, Joel, your experiment this week is a sweet meat repleat with empty-headed teens, fast cars, and a cute little lizard. It's called "The Giant Gila Monster", and it wil make you hurt or my name's not Earl Shibe. Enjoy.