New Tricks2003

[first lines]

Jack Halford:
Kempton.

Gerry Standing:
2:30,Fat Chance, five pound to win.

Jack Halford:
Three to one.

Gerry Standing:
3:30, ten pound, Happy Clappy to win.

Jack Halford:
Five to one!

Brian Lane:
Morning.

Gerry Standing:
Weatherby, three o'clock, Mission Accomplished, twenty quid on the nose.

Jack Halford:
It was sixteen to one!

Supt. Sandra Pullman:
What are you doing?

Gerry Standing:
Gerry's bets! Last week his winnings amounted to...

Brian Lane:
One thousand eight hundred and seventy-three pounds.

Supt. Sandra Pullman:
Well. Hope you're pleased with yourself.

Gerry Standing:
Yes! You see, because of *you* I didn't put any money on 'em. These are the bets I would have made if I was still gambling, but... now I'm reformed, now it plays no part in my life, I can't stop bloody winning. [Jack and Brian start to laugh]

Supt. Sandra Pullman:
Don't read the papers, then.

Gerry Standing:
I'm a man; we all read the papers. Backwards, starting with the sporting pages.