Night Court1984

[on Christine's first day as a judge, Bull brings in the next defendant, who is sobbing piteously]

Mr. Fengler:
Please, let me go! Let me out of here!

Bull Shannon:
Sir, please calm down. You're among friends. Friends who wear badges, and search your body cavities, but friends nonetheless.

Mr. Fengler:
You don't understand, this is a mistake, please, somebody help me!

Christine Sullivan:
Oh, don't worry, sir, I'll help you!

[everyone stares at her]

Christine Sullivan:
I-I mean, I'll do everything in my power to see that you receive a fair trial. Um, Mr. Prosecutor?

Dan Fielding:
Yes, Your Honor, Ye Olde Town Crier here robbed yon convenience store, and stuffed the booty in his jerkin, forsooth.

Mr. Fengler:
I'm sorry, I just haven't had a square meal in days, and when I saw all that food in the window, I snapped.

Christine Sullivan:
Oh, you poor thing!

Dan Fielding:
Oh yes, the poor thing almost had to eat the SHOT GUN he had with him!

Christine Sullivan:
You had a shotgun?

Mr. Fengler:
A little one.

Dan Fielding:
The term is "sawed-off"!