Only Fools and Horses....1981

Uncle Albert:
Have you ever thought about joining the navy, Rodney?

Rodney:
Well, funnily enough, Unc, *no*! How could I join the navy?

Del Boy:
Exactly. In the old days they'd take anyone - well, they took you! But nowadays, you've gotta have a cotchel of qualifications. [pointing to Rodney] I mean, what chance would Lawrence of Peckham stand?

Uncle Albert:
I don't mean in the Royal navy. I was talking about the merchant. Just imagine it, Rodney. Monday, you sail out of Southhampton Water. Tuesday, you're through the Bay of Biscay. Wednesday, you've rounded Cape St Vincent. Thursday, you dock in Algiers...

Del Boy:
[cutting in] And Friday it's your turn in the barrel!

Rodney:
[distressed] Eh?

Uncle Albert:
There was nothing like that on any of my vessels! A few funny ones but nothing like that!