Pets2001

Trevor:
So... What should we talk about now?

Hamish:
God knows! Where are you going for your holidays?

Trevor:
Well, since you ask, I was thinking of going out to Thailand to get one of those Thai brides. There's thousands of them out there, all looking for handsome, cultured types like me.

[Hamish sighs irritably]

Trevor:
They cook for you, wash your clothes and satisfy your every sexual desire... All they ask in return is that they can bring their entire f***in' family to live in your house!

Hamish:
What kind of a marriage is that?

Trevor:
And they've got these little white plastic balls that they stick inside their front bottoms every morning and the... And the balls rub together and vibrate so they can walk around all day pleasuring themselves.

Hamish:
How big are these balls?

Trevor:
I dunno... About... As big as sweet and sour pork balls, I suppose?

[JP suddenly perches on top of the chair Hamish is sitting on]

Hamish:
[to JP] Oh, hello, feather dick... How are you?

JP:
How's it, blokes? What are you doing?

Trevor:
Hamish is held in a queue and will be "answered shortly"...

JP:
[to Hamish] Ah, bad luck!

Hamish:
Thank you.

JP:
So... What are you doing to fill the time?

Trevor:
Talking bollocks!

Hamish:
Trevor says that Thai women stick sweet and sour pork balls inside their front bottoms in order to pleasure themselves...

JP:
Hey, I heard that as well! What do you think they do with the egg-fried rice?