Pets2001

Davina:
What are you doing?

Trevor:
I've got an itch!

Davina:
Hm.

Trevor:
I've got an itch and I can't reach it! Driving me f***ing mad!

Davina:
So?

Trevor:
So, do you think you could possibly... Scratch it for me?

Davina:
Sod off.

Trevor:
What?

Davina:
Well, it always starts like this, doesn't it? You start by asking me to scratch your back, then you roll over and ask me to scratch your front. The next thing I know you've got an enormous great purple growler and you start panting like a dog on heat!

Trevor:
I *am* a dog on heat!

Davina:
Well, I'm not falling for it this time. If you've got an itch, find someone else to scratch it for you.

Trevor:
But I've only got short arms...

Davina:
Grow your claws!

Trevor:
I'll pay you...

Davina:
With *what*?

Trevor:
Jaffa Cakes?

Davina:
If you think I'm going to play with your pink whippet for a bit of chocolate covered sponge with a jammy filling, you're very much mistaken.