Pets2001

Hamish:
Where exactly *is* this itch?

Trevor:
How many times do I have to tell you, donkeyflaps? It's on my back!

Hamish:
Where?

Trevor:
Right in the middle.

Hamish:
Well, why don't you scratch it yourself?

Trevor:
I can't!

Hamish:
Why not?

Trevor:
Can't reach it.

Hamish:
Why not?

Trevor:
Me arms are too short.

Hamish:
Why?

Trevor:
Well, I don't know why! Maybe it's something to do with evolution and natural selection.

Hamish:
Oh, have you been watching Animal Planet again?

Trevor:
Look, my back is itchy, I can't reach it, will you scratch it for me?

Hamish:
F*** off and die!

Trevor:
You sadistic bastard!

Hamish:
Why don't you rub your back up and down against the window frame?

Trevor:
I tried that.

Hamish:
And what happened?

Trevor:
I fell out of the window.

Hamish:
What about using an abrasive object with something sharp and pointed at one end?

Trevor:
Brilliant idea! I'll use the parrot!