Pets2001

Hamish:
But what if I were to tell you that I was planning to ask the cat to marry me?

Trevor:
What if I were to beat you repeatedly round the head with an excessively large wheel jack?

Hamish:
How would that help?

Trevor:
Dunno... Just always wanted to do it.

Hamish:
My mind's made up. I'm going to do the decent thing.

Trevor:
Don't tell me! You're gonna ask the cat to bring over a couple of mates and then shag all three of them at once!

Hamish:
What?

Trevor:
After which they'll disappear into the kitchen and rustle you up a quick snack while you have a little snooze.

Hamish:
No! I'm going to propose to the cat! Over a romantic dinner for two...

Trevor:
My idea was better.

Hamish:
By the way, have you seen the candles anywhere?

Trevor:
Oh...

Hamish:
Oh, no... Not again!

Trevor:
Sorry... They just... Fit up there so nicely... And give me a warm, tingling sensation whenever I cock me leg.