Police Squad!

Police Squad!1982

Police Squad! is an American television comedy series broadcast on the ABC network in 1982, created by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker, and starring Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin. A spoof of police procedurals, the series featured Zuck… more »



Det. Frank Drebin:
Wait a minute, let me get this straight: Twice came in and shot the teller and Jim Fell.

Sally Decker:
No, he only shot the teller, Jim Johnson. Fell is ill.

Det. Frank Drebin:
Okay, then after he shot the teller, you shot Twice.

Sally Decker:
No, I only shot once.

Capt. Ed Hocken:
Twice is the hold up man.

Sally Decker:
Then I guess I did shoot Twice.

Det. Frank Drebin:
Oh, so now you're changing your story.

Sally Decker:
No, I shot Twice after Jim fell.

Det. Frank Drebin:
You shot twice and Jim Fell?

Sally Decker:
No, Jim fell first and then I shot Twice once.

Det. Frank Drebin:
Well, who fired twice?

Sally Decker:
Once!

Capt. Ed Hocken:
He's the owner of the tire company, Frank.

Det. Frank Drebin:
[pauses] Okay. Once is the owner of the tire company and he fired Twice. Then Twice shot the teller once.

Sally Decker:
Twice.

Det. Frank Drebin:
...and Jim fell and then you fired Twice.

Sally Decker:
Once!

Det. Frank Drebin:
Okay. All right, that will be all for now, Ms. Decker.

Capt. Ed Hocken:
We'll need you to make a formal statement down at the station.

Sally Decker:
Oh, of course!

Det. Frank Drebin:
You've been very helpful. We think we know how he did it.

Sally Decker:
Oh, Howie couldn't have done it. He hasn't been in for weeks.

Det. Frank Drebin:
Well. [pauses] Thank you again, Ms. Decker. [to Ed] Weeks?

Capt. Ed Hocken:
Saul Weeks. He's the comptroller, Frank.

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    "Police Squad! Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 8 Mar. 2025. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/828104>.

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