Psych2006

Shawn Spencer:
[Addressing a group of fishermen to find someone to take them out to sea] I'm a psychic, Jack. Check your papers - not the front, page five and further back, sometimes the personals, but believe me, it's all there. We remember Shabby, don't we? Shabby, the sea lion. Well, I tracked him to the sea, found out where the poor fellow was murdered, in the entire ocean, the exact spot. Tell 'em, Gus.

Burton 'Gus' Guster:
I'd rather not.

Shawn Spencer:
Know what else? I found an abandoned boat, at sea, at night. I have keen senses, my senses are very keen. You know what, I'm gonna lay out my history for you people and by the end of it, you're all gonna be begging for my services, okay? Four months ago, a man walks into our offices, says "Help me, I'm a Lycan." Gus is like "You're made out of seaweed?" I said, "No, no, Gus, he's a werewolf." [Time passes] We dressed up like civil war people and Gus looked like Denzel Washington in "Glory" and some guy built a tunnel... [Time passes] Some chick got hit in the head with a tennis trophy - you know what, screw that case... [Time passes] I looked at my partner, it was like looking at a child lost in a shopping mall. Luckily, I'd solved the case. The football players were protecting their bonuses and that is why they left the disembodied foot on the path in the forest.

Burton 'Gus' Guster:
That's not why they did it.

Shawn Spencer:
Yeah, well that one still confuses me. The point is, that is but twenty of my many, many cases that I have solved. You can read the book when I learn how to type. [There is one man left in the audience] Sir, the fact that you haven't left tells me you're not afraid of my gift and are ready to use it to catch this shark. Think we have ourselves a boat.