Queer as Folk2000

Michael:
I totally blew it.

Brian:
Don't worry, there's still plenty of creepy, old man out there who'd love to get in your pants.

Michael:
He wasn't that old. He wasn't creepy; he was nice. First doctor...

Brian:
Chiropractor.

Michael:
That counts. I think. [they are interrupted by the owner of the comic bookstore.]

Comic Store Worker:
Ah... We got in the new "Catwoman".

Michael:
Cool! [the guy walks away after showing Michael the comic book.] He takes me this really nice restaurant, I behave like a f***ing idiot, dressed up like some slick a**hole.

Brian:
Hey! That was my twelve hundred dollar leather jacket.

Michael:
It wasn't me. You know why, Because I'm nobody. That's my problem. [Brian is checking out the owner of the shop.] Are you even listening to me?

Brian:
I tune out self-pity, it makes my dick soft. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

Michael:
Just forget I said anything. Oh, wow! Look, it's the new Eletra Woman doll. I'm gonna buy this for Gus.

Brian:
Don't. I don't want a gay kid.

Michael:
He's being raised by two lesbians. He's going to need a feminine influence. Besides, it'll be a collector's item.