Queer as Folk2000

[first lines]

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[on the phone] Brian Kinney, a father.

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] It's true. I was there. I saw it happen with my own eyes.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[on the phone] Talk about conceiving the inconceivable. Or is it the other way around?

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] Would you give the guy a break?

Emmett Honeycutt:
[on the phone] Couldn't be any worse than my Daddy was.

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] Or mine. Not that I remember him.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[on the phone] So what's next? PTA Parent, Little League coach, Scout master?

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] They don't allow queers into the scouts. They're afraid we'll induct new recruits.

Emmett Honeycutt:
[on the phone] I only go out with men who already enlisted. So, uh, who's he look like?

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] Well, he's got Brian's eyes and mouth, and... Lindsay's nose.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[on the phone] Well, if he's got Melanie's dick, we're in big trouble.

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] You should see the pictures I took. He is so adorable. In one of them, he's actually playing with himself.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[on the phone] Who, Brian?

Michael Novotny:
[on the phone] No, the baby. Imagine, he's only been in the world an hour and already he's pulling his pud.