Queer as Folk2000

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[talking to a trick] Hey, how're you doing? ... Good, glad to hear it. [talking to another trick] Hey, how's it going? ... Ah, yeah, no complains, thanks. Hey, hey, can I buy you a drink?

Michael:
Yeah, I'll take a beer.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
[shocked, turning back to the source of voice] Oh, it's you.

Michael:
Oh, f*** you! [smiling like a crazy person]

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
What are you on?

Michael:
Nothing. A little Brian's mix. Any luck?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Oh, I'm headed for an all-time season record: Eight straight, actually make that not so straight no hitters.

Michael:
Blake just winked at you.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
He's got some crystal-meth in his eye.

Michael:
He did it again! I told you, he likes you. Why don't you just go and ask him to dance?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
'Cause he'll just say, "Come back when you get a hair transplant or some liposuction".

Michael:
You do not need a hair transplant or liposuction. Besides, nobody would be that cruel to you, except maybe yourself.