Queer as Folk2000

Emmett Honeycutt:
I say if it walks like a boyfriend...

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
...and talks like a boyfriend...

Emmett Honeycutt, Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
...Then it must be a boyfriend!

Brian Kinney:
Would you two please shut the f*** up? I think it's great that Mikey's got a steady.

Michael Novotny:
He's not a steady! We went out twice!

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Around here, that's a long-term relationship.

Emmett Honeycutt:
The next thing you know, you'll be exchanging rings...

Brian Kinney:
Hmmm... And then there'll be one of those commitment ceremonies; where like, all two hundred of the guests have slept with one, if not the both of the happy couple.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Just, ehm, promise me you won't wear matching white suits.

Michael Novotny:
There is no way that is ever going to happen.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Well, then I suggest you, watch out for the warning signs.

Michael Novotny:
What warning signs?

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Like when he brings you flowers...

Emmett Honeycutt:
...or, or invites you away for a romantic weekend to the country.

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt:
Not that you'll see much beside the bedroom ceiling. [Emmett laughs]

Brian Kinney:
Your shot, Mikey.

Emmett Honeycutt:
Oh, or the most tell-tell sign of all: When he meets your mother, and ah... she invites him over for dinner. [Michael hits the cue ball right off the pool table.] Something the matter?

Michael Novotny:
I lost my grip.