Roseanne1988

Roseanne:
[on the phone with airline rep] Uh, yeah, I'm here. It's "Harris". "Al Harris", he's my dad. Look, I just got through telling this whole thing to somebody else. Well, all I wanna know is if his flight's coming in on time. No, not coach; try baggage.

Jackie:
Ask 'em about his frequent flyer miles. He was a salesman. It would've been very important to him.

Roseanne:
Jackie, can't you go and get drunk or something? [on the phone again] Yeah, I'm here. Listen, this is gonna sound kind of weird and everything, but is he going to be coming down that conveyor belt with everybody's baggage? [pause] No, no, the mortuary picks him up. Oh, that's good 'cause I didn't think we could fit him in our truck. [pause] Well, I'm sorry you don't think that's funny! Hey, I'm saving my best jokes for the funeral!