Saturday Night Live1975

Pregnant patient:
[in the Appalachian Emergency Room] Ok, it was like this. We was bored so we hooked up this kid's big wheel to the back of my husband's truck. It was fun until we hit that first red light and then I went flying into the cab of the truck and landed on this toilet seat with a rubber ducky attached and now I got a big old stomachache.

ER attendant:
Uh Huh; I think you're pregnant.

Pregnant patient:
I can't be pregnant; I ain't had sex in nine months!

ER attendant:
OK, Room six.

Pregnant patient:
Oh and my husband says he would love some medical marijuana.