Saturday Night Live1975

Amy Poehler:
It was reported that while vacationing together in Kenya, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made so much noise while making love, the hotel staff rushed to the room because it sounded like a wounded animal. OK, we get it, Angelina Jolie, you're better than every woman at everything! You're save the world, you have better sex, you're a circus-level knife-thrower... but let me tell you something, Jolie: I will find your weakness, OK? And when I do, I'm gonna climb up those legs of yours, and I'm gonna slap that queen-size futon you call a mouth. [cheers and applause] Let me ask you this, Jolie: Did you ever win Burlington, Massachusetts' Babysitter of the Month? What's that? No? What's that? Well call me when you do, hotshot! Back to you, Tina.

Tina Fey:
Uh, this just in: Angelina Jolie has been named Burlington, Massachusetts' Babysitter of the Month.

Amy Poehler:
Dammit!