Saturday Night Live1975

Winston Sam Bass:
Good afternoon! You know how when you see bugs are always running? You ever wanted to ask them: "Where the heck do you gotta be?" Tonight we do! This guy is bookin'. Sir, can I ask: What's the rush? He's not talking. Sir, can I talk to you a minute? Where are you headed? What's the rush? Where is the fire? He's not talking. [bug falls off the rail it walks on] Oh! He just jumped. I didn't touch him, you saw it, he just jumped.

Winston Sam Bass:
[voice over] It seemed like my day was gonna be longer than I anticipated.

Winston Sam Bass:
Sir, do you see these cameras? You're on TV! This guy is *beep* cold. [gets up in horror when the bug comes against him]

Winston Sam Bass:
[voice over] I was having no dumb luck with these gringos. So I went up north to Spanish Harlem to see if I couldn't shake some trees.

Winston Sam Bass:
Se?or? Se?or? Un proguto, por favor. Where are you going, sir? Se?or? Un poco momento. Thank you. This guy despises me. Cut it. And now for a special report, we're gonna send it over to my little brother Lance!

Lance Sam Bass:
Hey, I'm Lance Sam Bass! Love you so much, bro. Today, we're gonna be talkin' to some bugs. Excuse me, ma'am, can you tell me where you're going, please?

Lance Sam Bass:
[as bug, using an exaggerated voice] I'm going to the supermarket!