Saturday Night Live1975

["Hardball with Chris Matthews"]

Chris Matthews:
Mr. Ashcroft, what plans does the Justice Department have to make our country safer?

John Ashcroft:
We've got some real great stuff in the works. There's one plan that would make the Arab language, or anything that sounds like it, illegal. In addition, we've gone back into ten years of old files to traxk down terrorist sleeper agents! Foremost amongst them: Shaquille O'Neal.

Chris Matthews:
[chuckling] Shaquille O'Neal! Are you serious?

John Ashcroft:
Yes! We learned that he was in a Middle Eastern-flavored movie, entitled "Kazaam!" I watched this film last week, and from what I can gather, it is some kind of terrorist training video!