Scrubs2001

Turk:
J.D., this is an intervention. First off, I just want to say everyone here loves you, this is a safe space. But you're such a committ-a-phobe! Every time you date a girl with potential you wind up ruining it over some trivial reason. Let's think about some of the great girls you let slip through your fingers: Kylie, Jaime, Gift Shop Girl, Minnie McSkinny, Mole Butt, Tina Two-Kids, Rumplefugly... I'm forgetting someone...

Carla:
[narrating] Oh, my God, Turk... if you forget Elliot she's gonna cry. [out loud, while nodding towards Elliot who's starting to moan] Turk, aren't you forgetting the greatest girl of them all?...

Turk:
[snapping his fingers] Heidi Horse-Face!

Elliot:
[almost crying] Me, Turk... she's talking about me, OK?

J.D.:
Relax, Elliot... you're Mole Butt.

Elliot:
[moved] Really? Sorry, Turk...

Carla:
J.D., there's somebody else here who wants to say something...

Billy Dee Williams:
Don't mess this up, man... be smooth.

Turk:
Lando's right.

Billy Dee Williams:
Billy Dee!

Turk:
[mouthing] Lando...

Dr. Cox:
Joanna, now I'm not much for this sensitive crap... but, darn it all, you've found someone who's willing to let you annoy them instead of me.

Elliot:
Don't screw this up, J.D., or you'll just gonna end up where you always do: lying on that couch in a fetal position wishing you hadn't driven another one away.

Dr. Cox:
If Jordan were conscious, she'd... she'd agree [Jordan sits unconscious on the couch; she has a fake arrow through her head] Oh, now, who put that fake arrow through her head? Eh? Which one of you?... It was me... I did it...