Scrubs2001

Dr. Christopher Turk:
You know, on The Sopranos, if a guy caught his brother with his girlfriend, he'd just rub his ass out.

J.D.:
Oh, believe you me, the second I get Dan alone, there's gonna be some serious ass rubbing... I shouldn't smack talk.

Dan Dorian:
[arriving] Hey, mind if I join you guys?

Dr. Perry Cox:
[arriving too] The question you should be asking is "Mind if I diddle your ex?". Oh... and just a great big congratulations on your ongoing streak of being the world's worst older brother. [leaves]

Dan Dorian:
[stands, then smiles] Thanks, Coxy.

J.D.:
[narrating] I knew it was my turn to let Dan have it, but for some reason I wasn't mad. [out loud] Listen, Dan...

Dan Dorian:
J.D., let me explain. I came to the hospital to see you... and I ran into Elliot and it just happened. It was an one-time thing.

J.D.:
I'm OK with it.

Dan Dorian:
Great, because it's going on for a few weeks! Elliot's amazing: smart, funny... hhhot! I was in a dark place and she saved me, she really did. I haven't feel this good since my dad died.

J.D.:
Our dad.

Dan Dorian:
Right.

Dr. Christopher Turk:
Hold on. When Carla and I came home yesterday, we heard something; did you two hook up in J.D.'s room?

Dan Dorian:
A friend wouldn't ask, a gentleman wouldn't tell.

Dr. Christopher Turk:
Did you?

Dan Dorian:
Twice. We didn't go under the sheets, out of respect.

J.D.:
[sarcastically] How thoughtful!