Scrubs2001

Dr. Perry Cox:
[to Jordan, who came back home pregnant] Jordan, please tell me you ate a raccoon and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system...

Jordan Sullivan:
Oh, don't worry. It's not your baby. Though not for lack of trying; see [to Julie] , we have sex a lot.

Julie Keaton:
Who are you?

Jordan Sullivan:
Who do you think I am?

Julie Keaton:
Well, you have keys to the apartment, so I'm gonna say... the maid!

Dr. Perry Cox:
Julie, this is my ex-wife, Jordan. Jordan, this is my girlfriend, Julie. OK, that was a treat, wasn't it? [to Jordan] Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?

Jordan Sullivan:
[to Julie while sitting on the sofa] Oh no. He called you his girlfriend... If I were you, I'd start gathering your tiny panties up because... I thing you're done.

Julie Keaton:
I'm already bored by you. Perry, I will be in the bedroom; come join me when Tubby leaves. [she leaves]

Jordan Sullivan:
Ta.

Dr. Perry Cox:
Oh, who did that to you?

Jordan Sullivan:
Well, I was at this fabulous hotel in Greece, chock full of available, wealthy men...

Dr. Perry Cox:
[interrupting her] So it was the bellboy?

Jordan Sullivan:
Or busboy, or pool-boy... something "boy", I don't know. Anyway, when I first found out I was panicked; and then I thought I've kind of been drifting through life all these years... and I need to look into my heart and see what really matters to me. Anyway, I decided to keep the stupid kid.

Dr. Perry Cox:
You should cut out the middle man and just have a therapist deliver him. I mean, honestly, Jordan, why are you telling me this?

Jordan Sullivan:
Oh! Because I've also decided that I want you back.