Scrubs2001

Dr. Perry Cox:
Listen up. I have been cursed to work the night shift with you chuckleheads, which means I have to tape the Laker-Heat game; and seeing as no one in the history of this germbox has ever made it through a shift without saying "Oh, my God... oh, my God! Did you see what happened last night on America's Fattest Fatties? A 900-pound woman lost a pound and a half and cried for 20 minutes"... be warned. If you utter a word about the score of the game, it will be your last. Now get out! Go, go, go, go! Chop, chop! [whistles]

The Janitor:
[sitting on a chair, petting an invisible cat; speaks in a fake English accent] So... you don't want to know the ending of something. I can relate to that.

Dr. Perry Cox:
What is that in your lap?

The Janitor:
Leonard. Half-kitten, half-monkey!